Anxiety, Shame & Self-Trust
When you're used to questioning yourself, it can be difficult to know what you actually want.
You might find yourself replaying conversations, worrying about how others perceive you, or looking for reassurance before making decisions. Maybe you know what you want to say but hesitate, concerned about disappointing someone or getting it wrong.
Sometimes anxiety shows up as overthinking. Other times, shame makes it difficult to express a need, acknowledge a desire, or let yourself be seen.
Recognizing the Patterns
Anxiety and shame can influence how we relate to ourselves and others, often in ways we've grown accustomed to.
You might recognize yourself in some of these experiences:
Second-guessing decisions, even after you've made them.
Feeling responsible for how other people feel.
Avoiding conflict or difficult conversations.
Seeking reassurance that you haven't done something wrong.
Being hard on yourself when you make mistakes.
Struggling to identify or express your own needs.
Feeling that you need to be a certain version of yourself to be accepted.
These patterns often develop for understandable reasons. They may have helped you maintain connection, avoid criticism, or navigate relationships earlier in life.
But what once felt necessary can eventually become limiting.
Making Room for Your Own Experience
Anxiety isn't always something we can think our way out of. And shame often becomes more difficult when we try to hide or push away the parts of ourselves we fear others might judge.
We'll get curious about how these experiences show up in your life.
We might explore what happens when you disagree with someone, notice how quickly you dismiss a feeling, or pay attention to the urge to seek reassurance when you're uncertain.
Rather than trying to eliminate every uncomfortable feeling, we'll work toward developing more freedom in how you respond to them.
That might mean expressing a need even when you're anxious, making a decision without knowing how someone else will react, or allowing yourself to experience an emotion without immediately trying to resolve it.
Developing Greater Self-Trust
Self-trust doesn't mean always feeling confident or knowing the right answer.
It can mean learning to recognize what you're feeling, taking your own experience seriously, and making choices that reflect what matters to you, even when uncertainty remains.
Our work may help you:
Recognize recurring patterns of anxiety and self-criticism.
Better understand the role shame plays in your relationships.
Express needs, preferences, and boundaries more directly.
Become less dependent on reassurance or approval.
Stay present with difficult emotions.
Make decisions with greater confidence in your own judgment.
Change doesn't require becoming someone entirely different. Sometimes it begins with noticing where you've learned to move away from yourself.
Let's Talk
If anxiety, shame, or self-doubt have been affecting your relationships or the way you experience yourself, we can explore what's happening together.
I offer LGBTQ+ affirming individual therapy in Los Angeles, with in-person sessions in Burbank and West Hollywood and online therapy throughout California.